George Saunders’s delivered the convocation speech at Syracuse University for the class of 2013 and I’m certain you will not regret the 5 minutes it takes you to read the entire speech.
So: What do I regret? Being poor from time to time? Not really. Working terrible jobs, like “knuckle-puller in a slaughterhouse?” (And don’t even ASK what that entails.) No. I don’t regret that. Skinny-dipping in a river in Sumatra, a little buzzed, and looking up and seeing like 300 monkeys sitting on a pipeline, pooping down into the river, the river in which I was swimming, with my mouth open, naked? And getting deathly ill afterwards, and staying sick for the next seven months? Not so much. Do I regret the occasional humiliation? Like once, playing hockey in front of a big crowd, including this girl I really liked, I somehow managed, while falling and emitting this weird whooping noise, to score on my own goalie, while also sending my stick flying into the crowd, nearly hitting that girl? No. I don’t even regret that.
But here’s something I do regret:
I know you are curious, go ahead and read the rest.
I was turned on to this speech by the excellent Dave Pell who pens the always interesting Next Draft newsletter. Also, I shamelessly used his pull quote (sorry Dave, it was just too good).
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